Topic: Posts While on R&R
These past few days in the States have been odd. It is shocking how easily Iraq comes up when I interact with people, and when I do, the responses are very odd. Most people are curious about what is happening in Iraq and ask lots of questions. Some people support what I'm doing without asking any questions; I could be a hit man working for the U.S. government, but they wouldn't care. And . . . sometimes, people act a little nuts. While I was getting my hair cut the other day, my stylist asked where I was from and what I did for a living. She was really shocked to learn that I was living in Iraq. After she finished cutting my hair, she pulled a stone from the small Buddha shrine that she prays to every day and told me that she would pray for me every day until I leave for Iraq for good and returned the stone to her.

Sigh . . . I head back to Iraq on Monday night!

Topic: Posts While on R&R
These past few days in the States have been odd. It is shocking how easily Iraq comes up when I interact with people, and when I do, the responses are very odd. Most people are curious about what is happening in Iraq and ask lots of questions. Some people support what I'm doing without asking any questions; I could be a hit man working for the U.S. government, but they wouldn't care. And . . . sometimes, people act a little nuts. While I was getting my hair cut the other day, my stylist asked where I was from and what I did for a living. She was really shocked to learn that I was living in Iraq. After she finished cutting my hair, she pulled a stone from the small Buddha shrine that she prays to every day and told me that she would pray for me every day until I leave for Iraq for good and returned the stone to her.

Sigh . . . I head back to Iraq on Monday night!

Topic: Posts While on R&R
I only have a few days left on my R&R. During most of this break, I have tried to avoid any news about Iraq. When I do read something about it, the stories generally focus on the violence. From outside Iraq, it seems like the country is tearing itself apart. For some reason, when I am inside Iraq, I hear all the car bombs and the small arms fire in Baghdad, but I tune most of it out. It is a defense mechanism that helps me focus on my job. If I stopped and really thought about all the violence that I can hear all around me (though can't see any of it because I live inside the semi-safe Green Zone), I probably wouldn't ever leave my house.

Topic: Posts While on R&R
One of the hardest things about being back in the States on a short R&R is the realization that my life is paused and everyone else's life is moving forward. My relationships with friends and family hasn't changed in five months, but all of their lives have changed - sometimes drastically. I can't close that gap in the few days that I'm back in the States. Meanwhile, I can't recover from the stupid things I say to people while I'm on this short break and can't truly share my feelings with certain other people that have etched a way into my heart. On some days, an R&R makes me realize how far away from normal life I am while living in Iraq.

Topic: Posts While on R&R
After spending months in Iraq, I am back home for a few days, and everyone wants to hear what I have to say. Oddly, one of my friends wanted me to talk to her grade school students. To put it simply, it was a surreal experience.

Even though the kids were very young, they asked many of the same questions that adults ask me. They wanted to know where I lived in Iraq. They asked a lot of questions about how dangerous it is in Iraq. They even wanted to know why America decided to go to war in Iraq. I tried to answer all their questions, but some things about Iraq are too complex and can't be easily answered.

Topic: Posts While on R&R
As I'm walking around the States, I am constantly checking my chest to make sure I have all my Iraq ID badges. I have been wearing those silly things every day for about five months, and now I feel naked without them. Currently, I have five badges - my agency's badge, a compound access badge, a military ID badge, a State Department ID badge, and an embassy access badge. I am supposed to receive an International Zone (Green Zone) access badge, which would help me speed through the check points at the edges of the Green Zone; because I don't leave the Green Zone that often and there is a huge waiting list for that badge, I still haven't gotten it yet.

Badges are one of the most important things inside the Green Zone. Every time I leave my compound, someone invariably asks, "Are you badged up?" These badges might be even more important than body armor. Without them, you can't get into any occupation-related place inside the Green Zone - including the all important Burger King.

Topic: Posts While on R&R
I wasn't going to post any entries while in the States, but . . . screw that. I still have a lot that I want to talk about. I won't promise daily entries, but I will try my best.

Being in DC after spending four and a half months in Iraq is odd. People ask me what the biggest change I have encountered since leaving Iraq. Right now, I think it is my the absence of my armor. Every time I get up, even after playing kickball or going to a bar, I am always looking for my helmet. It also feels weird to walk around Washington DC without 22 pounds of body armor. Those pieces of equipment quickly became second nature to me in Iraq. I didn't go anywhere without them, yet they are superfluous to my life in DC. They are now as alien to me at dunking french fries in mayonnaise.